I Thought I Was Your Dream 5.11.2009

I want to tell you that I saw this coming.
I want to tell you that i knew you couldn't handle me long term.
I want to tell you that you're great, but I deserve someone who fully accepts me for me.
I want to tell you that you were never good enough.
I want to tell you that it should've been done in January.
I want to tell you that you're stubborn, prideful and your ego is too big for the world.
I want to tell you that you're the closest person to me.
I want to tell you that I accepted every single part of you, and loved you even more for them.
I want to tell you that I'll never be able to give you my heart a third time.
I want to tell you that you never deserved me in the first place.
I want to tell you that no girl will ever match up.
I want to tell you that no one will ever love you like i do.
I want to tell you that I would do anything for you and your family.
I want to tell you that I learned so many things that I do not want in a man.
I want to tell you that I'm not sure if any one will ever match up.
I want to tell you that I'm scared that I will always love you.

I want to tell you all of this, but I can't.

I can't because it doesn't matter.
I can't because I loved you harder than you loved me.
I can't because you made up your mind.
I can't because I asked you a thousand times.
I can't because you didn't keep your promises.
I can't because I begged for you.
I can't because you don't deserve to know anything.
I can't because I can't do this to myself.

again.

I want to tell you that I loved you more than myself.
I want to ask you why you didn't cherish me.
I want to scream and hate you for this.
i want to laugh and say you'll regret it all.

All I hear is that "time will heal all wounds."
All I hear is "there's someone better out there for you."
All I hear is that "he misses you. I know he does."
Most of all, I just want to understand.